


The Bittersweet Vine

by roguefaerie (samidha)



Series: Finding Home Away From Home (GQ/NB Dean Winchester with Shadow Moon Fics) [19]
Category: American Gods - Neil Gaiman, Celtic Mythology, Norse Religion & Lore, Once Upon a Time (TV), Peter Pan & Related Fandoms, Supernatural
Genre: Belief, Crossover, Crossover Pairing, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Dead Sam Winchester, Grief/Mourning, Multiple Crossovers, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Dean Winchester, Other, POV Dean Winchester, POV Second Person, Queer Character, Queer Shadow Moon, Queerplatonic Relationships, Trans Character, believe, character fusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 11:41:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12556620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samidha/pseuds/roguefaerie
Summary: Sam Winchester is dead and Tinker Bell Winchester is still in mourning. Or worse.





	The Bittersweet Vine

Everything aches like you’ve run a marathon, and maybe in a way you have. This time when Shadow brings you tea or broth--you’re down to broth--it isn’t for fun or bonding.

“I feel pummeled,” you tell him.

“I know. Well...you were.”

“I don’t understand,” you say, although at certain points you do. This is the price that grief is extracting, one terrible moment at a time.

“There’s something maybe you know about,” Shadow says, and you can tell he’s trying to be gentle. “It’s called Stockholm syndrome and…”

“Shadow, maybe if I had--”

“No. Stop. Listen.”

But you’re floating away, not able to process words to do with all of that, not now.

You don’t listen. And Shadow lets go.

*~*~*

Later you are alone. Sometimes it is necessary.

You stand in front of the tree, dead center in the middle of your backyard. You have such things, because they have been given to you; they serve a purpose.

You stand there now, under the oak, and you call to your Father.

“Very funny,” you say, hoarse and disoriented. “Very funny. I know you think this is a big joke. Something about only in the mirror, right? Never where anyone else can--.”

And you stop yourself. Because you know that isn’t exactly fair. You _do_ have your Father and--.

And so you stop yourself, but the anger boils low in your gut. You stumble back inside. Angry.

You haven’t solved anything.

You listen to the wind and it has never lied to you, not once, but it doesn’t have anything to say.

And so there is rage.

*~*~*

Shadow is still worried, you can feel it in everything that he does, from the way his footfalls echo on the floor, on upward. _Any bright ideas?_ he’s saying to you.

“I don’t know,” you say, realizing belatedly that he never asked the question out loud.

He’s a little shaky, but he rolls with it. Of course you both know what he’s asking and why.

There’s a period of silence. Then...

“Did--” Shadow blinks hard, nervous, upset, whatever. He’s looking at you but it’s like seeing him through a film, or a telescope lense turned the wrong way round. Soon he’ll be Charlie Brown teacher noise. “Winchester.”

You try to focus on him. This time, you manage.

“Did Sam believe in you?” he asks. “I mean, _believe in you_?”

And you think of mysteriously-appearing Twinkies and just-in-the-knick-of-time quarters and conspicuous recyclables, and the demands.

The demands were a form of belief too, in their weird way.

“Yes,” you whisper.

What do you do now?

*~*~*

You’re shakier than you realized you were and you let Shadow take you outside. To the tree.

“Stay here,” you say, nervous and worried.

And he will, this time, now that you’ve asked, even though the tree, the birds, they’re, well… Not exactly yours but....

He wraps you in a blanket and sits beside you. Nothing fancy. But you take what you can, what you need to, from the earth.

There are people who want you here, in Midgard. There are people who believe in you, in Midgard.

It takes you a little bit, just sitting there together, but you do remember:

Shadow believes in you.

You take his hand. “Hey,” you whisper. “I know you do too. I know you do.”

He squeezes your hand. “Thank you,” is all he says. Then he squeezes it again.

There are people who believe in you in Midgard. On earth.

You take a deep breath and remember how to let that sink in.


End file.
